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Cradle your pain, walk away from dullness aching
windblown rain run through ecstasy yearning
just close your eyes, sleep under stillness trusting
lean on your solitude, lie down beside your doubts forgetting
better make it fast, don't think you're gonna last
anywhere you go you can't escape it
better make it fast, don't think you're gonna last
anywhere you go you can't escape it anymore
a gift from one who has none, take from emptiness hoping
wish for just one more, give to radiance believing
better make it fast, don't think you're gonna last
anywhere you go you can't escape it
better make it fast, don't think you're gonna last
anywhere you go you can't escape it anymore
anywhere you go you can't escape it anymore
anywhere you go you can't escape it anymore
you love to watch your wife sleep, she's so pretty, hurts you so easily
a small voice inside says disaster up ahead
and you begin to think of leaving
you think faith might be an illusion, but you gamble on it anyway for now
your innocence just kills you, your innocence just kills you
your innocence just kills you, your innocence just kills you
you watch your daughter napping
she is visiting you in the new place you checked into
she was happy 'cause she beat a guy at pool
she doesn't know that he's crazy, or that he let her win
one morning while you were sleeping, she threw out all your cigarettes
she thought it would help you
her innocence just kills you, her innocence just kills you
her innocence just kills you, her innocence just kills you
your husband sleeps beside you, you listen to him breathing
his trust feels almost painful, he doesn't know that in the middle of the night
everything you've ever said, and everything you've ever done
is glaring in your mind under a bleak winter sun
his innocence just kills you, his innocence just kills you
his innocence just kills you, his innocence just kills you
innocence just kills you, innocence just kills you
innocence just kills you, innocence just kills you
Invisible angel brother grown up to inherit all grief
the future haunts the perfect lovers
back in time their lives will start unraveling
the emptiness you grow will not protect you
no friend will come and try and pull you back
first it will trick you and then catch you
reaching out for you with giant hands
you're an experiment, a site of punishment
giving life to habits and scars
loyal to a memory being buried by years layered on like red brick in a wall
years lay themselves down but you walk on through
each step leaves more dead sidewalk behind you
pulling memories along like an old red wagon
what's worth keeping and what will you abandon
maybe you don't owe them anything but who's around to tell them so
are you brave enough to say goodbye to things that just go away
the emptiness you grow will not protect you
no friend will come and try and pull you back
first it will trick you and then catch you
reaching out for you with giant hands
The best thing of all to do to your drunken dad
is to drink every bottle he owns
You'll never forget the look on his face
when he comes back and his anasthetic is gone
It's funny and sad, can't believe that you'd do that
It's funny and sad, can't believe that you'd do that
He asked where it went
and you said you had guests but you both knew
you drank it all by yourself
it's nice to pretend that it had an effect but of course
it didn't make any difference at all
It's funny and sad, can't believe that you'd do that
It's funny and sad, can't believe that you'd do that
one long sunny day that went on and on and on
drunk reading "Brideshead Revisited" he was so gone, gone, gone
he was so gone, gone, gone
Blissful floating on air nothing could hurt you the whole goddamn time
and you hated him how he let it go never said shit
his silence one thing you don't miss
left it behind shut it away plutonium sludge alive and decaying
left it behind shut it away plutonium sludge alive and decaying
wake up at noon, drive straight downtown to the butterfly parade the springtime crowd
you will never feel part of it even though it's part of you
and guess how many feel like you do
pretending to belong, impostors all along
wake up at noon, the bright sunlight will kill the all-consuming night-thought shadows
turn them into pale jellyfish ghosts that float away into the warm soft air
wake up at noon forget the 3am moon falling slowly towards the water
wake up at noon forget the 3am moon falling slowly towards the water
wake up at noon walk around downtown let the sunlight drown the weeping static
of the all-night radio
the butterflies parade, ill at ease waiting for a change
as if the universe were a dealer who would shuffle us like cards
so we'd all fall into place
wake up at noon forget the 3am moon falling slowly towards the water
wake up at noon forget the 3am moon falling slowly towards the water
it takes true love to disillusion someone with kindness
still you know I won't let you go unless you want it
the possible morning peaceful transitory too sleepy to talk
the world's misted over by unfinished dreams
so I move through my day forcing every motion
slow like I'm walking on the bottom of the ocean
where are you going you're going to drink in the dark
hiding from the world like a bobcat in a cupboard
there's danger there's danger in a place that feels so safe
there's danger in a place that feels so safe
I watch you pour all your desire through a narrow funnel
I watch you chasing yourself down a dark hole
Made you angry so I could wait for the end of the anger
it's so welcome it means everything
sometimes I need to wander motherless and come back arms out
outside your gentle deep-eyed smile everyone feels hollow
the empty chair is still beside my bed
your kindness broke into my heart and lived there for a while
trusting me to believe in what you said
we bring our pasts to this shady collusion
together we invent what we will be
wishing is a fountain that flows back into itself
and I'm the one who doesn't measure up to me
outside your gentle deep-eyed smile everyone feels hollow
the empty chair is still beside my bed
your kindness broke into my heart and lived there for a while
trusting me to believe in what you said
don't judge me I'm asking you to give me what I cannot take
it's not a lot but I need it just the same
I need it all
outside your gentle deep-eyed smile everyone feels hollow
the empty chair is still beside my bed
your kindness broke into my heart and lived there for a while
trusting me to believe in what you said
On Silver Street in the afternoon I'm waiting around for the right moment
to sweep me along in born-again action, break the deadlock, answer a question
I'm thinking about how you'll never catch up to the muse at the bottom of your cup
Silver Street it's early night when hangers-around seem to evaporate
and even the darkest trees glow and neighborhood cats secretly congregate
the wind is blowing through the park, swingset chains creak in the dark
and no one's around but some shell-shocked drunks
with a blaring oldies radio
I'll ask you one thing, please never give up
please never quit, you help me live
Silver St. is where I find you waiting against the alley fence
propping up the chainlink with your back, did I ever tell you you're a pain in the ass
your face is raw with cheekbones that point to your seriousness
and a smile almost afraid to break
I'll ask you one thing, please never give up
please never quit, you help me live
I love the things that are bigger than me like weather and natural disasters
and meeting you on Silver St.
Average no one from a nothing town never done much
got through it all somehow a home was built around you and it crumbled down
guess it doesn't matter that you matter to me
you're the problem that you cause
making your friends feel like cops, unloved but needed, searching for you
I hope they always find you, I hope they always find you
I hope they always find you,another false alarm
telephone rings after midnight good that someone's home
to pick up the distress call
you've a talent for hiding in corners
you'd try to drown yourself in one inch of water
they found you again
do you remember your name, do you know where you are
good you're ok
I hope they always find you, I hope they always find you
I hope they always find you,another false alarm
after the hospital soon back on your feet
your one piece of advice for me:
if you're going to make a mistake, make it big
you are stupid stupid stupid
this picture of you just shows what's gone
this is who you might've been
visiting your own life like a stranger from far away
I hope they always find you, I hope they always find you
I hope they always find you,another false alarm
Days before the day you gave your things away
worry doll burned it all, gave everything to the air
did you think that it was love, did you think past your own belief
if it's not wise or kind then it's not love at all, so why?
I've been trying to understand why you'd leave
I've been trying to understand why you'd leave
why you'd leave, why you'd leave, why you'd leave, why you'd leave
Couldn't wait anymore, what were you waiting for before?
the perfect time will never come because this is it right here
maybe I can't talk, everyone asks the question
but I won't because it's been done, and I won't because it'd hurt someone
besides I'm just too scared
you could never tell anyone, too special or just too beyond
no one ever understood you, least of all me
I've been trying to understand why you'd leave
I've been trying to understand
have you ever felt like a fool getting left behind again
like a stupid guest who wouldn't leave
who wouldn't leave who wouldn't leave who wouldn't leave who wouldn't leave
This sadness and this longing have been my one true love
I'm tired of always wanting the thing I cannot have
held it so close to my heart the drug that is my own
special true it makes me hate myself
explore the deeper wound that I've been hiding from myself
face the love that makes me feel so damaged and alone
free from suffering if I give up this need
but if I give it up I'll know my hopes were always empty
I want nothing but to be free, I want nothing but to be free
all this time I've wasted, I'll never get it back
pick up every broken piece and start again from scratch
cast my empty hopes aside, I won't need them here
to face the boredom pain and fear
I want nothing but to be free, I want nothing but to be free
I want nothing but to be free, I want nothing but to be free
(copyright 2004 Chris Wedertz)
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